Strengthsfinder 2.0
"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time." Anna Freud
So I picked up a copy of Strengthsfinder 2.0 and took the code from the book and did the online assessment. It seemed like a lot of questions but it did not take long to answer them. It came back with my assessment of my 5 key strengths:
- Context
- Individualization
- Connectedness
- Learner
- Intellection
The book and online aids give out some great information on the strengths it finds you reveal in your answers - and the list of possible strengths is a long one. The answers you pick in combination are used in some complex matrix to come up with the key 5. The way to use them in your teams, work environments, and probably relationships looks to be pretty interesting.
Here's what the expanded explanations were for mine:
08/04/08
That Which Fills the Heart
"The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart." - Luke 6:45, NASB
What fills your heart? Fear? Loathing? Love? Loneliness? I could go on naming a million adjectives, and the ultimate reality is that what fills our hearts is all of this. Our hearts are filled to the brim with all of these feelings and states of being - at all times and in all places.
The question before us is... which elements do we choose to be what drives us forward in our life experiences? Do we draw from the desire to "belong"? To be wealthy? To be compassionate? To be selfless? When we look into our soul's well, what do we see and what do we ignore?
Whatever the failure or accomplishments - what did you end up with seared in your memory? Was it the hope of growing into honorable strength or the shame of a coward running from it instead? Do you know how to tell the difference? There's an easy way to tell...
07/01/08
04:16:25 pm, by elves 
, 2015 words 
Categories: Life or Something Like It, Thoughts, Writer's Block, Sex
Simple Mathematics
Lundy: My date was horrible. I picked her up, and I don't know Miami, of course, and I got completely lost, and she was chattering away the whole time about this Yogi master I just have to meet so by the time we even got to the restaurant I was tearing my hair out.
Debra: Oh, God. I'm sorry.
Lundy: No, it was good. It was a reminder that, uh, I shouldn't be dating.
Debra: Course you should be.
Lundy: No. It all comes down to simple mathematics. A really beautiful relationship is a once in a lifetime thing. And I've already had mine. - Dexter, Episode "Sea-Through"
Wow, that last line hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard it. The character speaking it on the show was someone in his 60s and he was speaking it to a 30ish young woman who was in the midst of falling head over heels in love with him - but neither of them knew it yet.
Imagine what it must be like to know you have had the one true love of your life - and we're not talking about the first love or the sweetest love or any of that... we're talking about that love so unique and beautiful for your life that you realize over the years of your life that it's a love too beautiful and unique to ever find again; then imagine understanding that the relationship is over for whatever reason; and that your life continues without that person and somewhere in the deepest part of you - you have already accepted that any future relationship can never be more than a shadow of that something that was so amazing and beautiful that you'll never see it in your life again.
To be that person standing there and actually saying it out loud to someone else - it's an astounding thing, because when you're able to say it out loud... that's when you know it's real (at least that's how it always is for me). As awful as that image is, though, imagine what it must be like to be that person and to live with the reality of knowing that the every time you start a new relationship that you already know what it's not going to be, and what that new person is not going to mean to you, and what that relationship is not going to become for you - and then... then imagine what it's like to be one of those poor sods who might be amazing for someone else but who will never be that for the person they're with now. Take that image - as uncomfortable as it is - and hold onto it for a minute before you continue reading this entry.
06/29/08
Complete Idiocy
"I sit here in my tastefully decorated office and watch you go about tilting at windmills, many times beating the windmill.
Well, my turn. It's my turn to stand up and make a complete idiot of myself and do something that leaves this nation a reslightly better place." - Shirley Schmidt, Boston Legal
I heartily admit to being an avid fan of the show Boston Legal, and I don't much even really like network television all that much - but this show just captured me in a way few things ever have in my life as much for the content and character of the concept as the passion with which the writers approach the dialogues. The above quote, in particular, I love because of the character who is speaking and the character at whom it is aimed.
It turns out I also love it because I realize that the truly decent people of this nation, and perhaps the world, feel very much like Shirley and Alan in that moment. One is the accomplished, reserved, and consummate ideal of a respectable and upright citizen - and the other is a passionate ideologue who oft finds himself advocating for no other reason than simply because someone needs advocation. To have the one, then, speak to the other in this way is a far deeper and meaningful thing than perhaps the show's audience may have considered. In a way, don't we all come to that realization that deep inside us is the person we always wished we had been and we face that moment of truth and have to decide... are we or are we not what we say we are?
05/15/08
Four Percent and Growing
"If... you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close to one hundred percent that you are dealing with a sociopath."
- The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout, PhD
1 in 25 Americans (4%) are sociopaths. Wow, that's an amazing statistic. That's more people than there are anorexics - which is considered an epidemic at 3.43%. It's 100 times the number of people diagnosed with colon cancer! It's an astounding figure, and it means that if you know 100 people, at least 4 of them qualify as sociopaths and they are probably active members of your life - and I don't mean the Ted Bundy or Charles Manson sorts of sociopaths in what I'm saying - I mean the sort who make it under the radar and live without the major extremes acts of violence or other such criminalities.
These people have no problem shattering the lives of others - either purposefully or out of thoughtless negligence. They do not think twice about it and they literally do not care that others have been significantly harmed by their actions. Some even take perverse pleasure in orchestrating events to such an outcome. But most simply live what an outsider would see as empty and shallow connections to a world that sits beyond the comprehension of the person with the sociopathic condition.
That's why I wanted to write this entry - to share what I've learned, and to tell you how to recognize the condition and how to protect yourself from the unthinkable acts such people will perform upon you if you are unaware and without defense.
12/31/07
Retrospective 2007
“Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.” - Brooks Atkinson
What an interesting year 2007 turned out to be for me! To give you an idea of the insanity, allow me to share with you what the last 365 days were like for me:
I drove across the half-country twice; successfully delivered and managed some of the most grueling and challenging projects of my career; survived my worst emotional pain; dealt with deep relationship issues; quit smoking; endured unimaginable anxiety; completely redefined bonded friendships; bought my first house; changed jobs... and the hits just kept on coming!
I would be glad to see this year go except that I learned some time ago to be thankful for the lessons Life gives me. Every lesson learned is a lesson I do not have to repeat - and there is not a single lesson from this year I ever want to face again.
So, I figured instead of my usual sappy approach to the New Year's holiday I will share with you the major theme of my lessons this year:
XML Feeds